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A few months ago, I had a round of these conversations with the usual suspects in my life. Think of it as a dick Overton window: a continuum of acceptability, but in this case, one that varies from person to person. Boyfriend dicks have a measurable component, of course, but not a consistent one. Vaginas vary in depth and sensitivity just like penises vary in length and shape, and where some women may enjoy the mix of pleasure and pain she gets when someone hung repeatedly bashes into her cervix, others want nothing to do with it. For the first group of women, a inch monster looks like a Christmas gift wrapped up in a pair of boxer-briefs. What really makes a boyfriend dick is a holistic evaluation of the situation at hand. But as much as American sexual norms have evolved over the past several decades, one stubborn idea remains relatively unchanged: When it comes to dicks, bigger is better.

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A few months ago, I had a round of these conversations with the usual suspects in my life. Think of it as a dick Overton window: a continuum of acceptability, but in this case, one that varies from person to person.

Boyfriend dicks have a measurable component, of course, but not a consistent one.

Vaginas vary in depth and sensitivity just like penises vary in length and shape, and where some women may enjoy the mix of pleasure and pain she gets when someone hung repeatedly bashes into her cervix, others want nothing to do with it. For the first group of women, a inch monster looks like a Christmas gift wrapped up in a pair of boxer-briefs. What really makes a boyfriend dick is a holistic evaluation of the situation at hand.

But as much as American sexual norms have evolved over the past several decades, one stubborn idea remains relatively unchanged: When it comes to dicks, bigger is better.

So we gave it a third shot. After a party where we both drank way too much, we ran to his place. He didn't have condoms so, as he told me later, he asked his friend for one as we were exiting the party.

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The borrowed condom turned out to be red. We dated for a year. After I had my IUD put in, my boyfriend could feel the strings. The IUD is in your uterus but the strings hang down into your vagina so you can check to confirm that the IUD is still in place. So my doctor trimmed them a bit shorter.

When I told him during my next appointment that my boyfriend could STILL feel the strings, he looked completely taken aback. That's when I knew I was dealing with an EP enormous penis. So, years ago, I devoted my entire existence to sexual conquest.

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It's pretty common, particularly for gay meth addicts, to just obsessively cycle through one hookup to the next, trying to stay high and get more sex.

As a general bottom with storied experience with the D, I figured that I was up for any challenge. I was a professional, so I thought. I meet a fellow on Adam4Adam who claims to have a footlong penis.

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I think it's bullshit: I know that most penises online are around eight inches and in reality they're more like six. So, I'm guessing that this guy is just exaggerating to try to rope in hungry bottoms.

Mar 08,   This feature is not available right now. Please try again later. Nov 14,   When I told him during my next appointment that my boyfriend could STILL feel the strings, he looked completely taken aback. That's when I knew I was dealing with an EP (enormous penis). I married it. Mar 09,   Basically (and fortunately), every dick can be a boyfriend dick to someone. A boyfriend dick isn't a measurement, per se, but a range. Think of it as a dick Overton window: a continuum of acceptability, but in this case, one that varies from person to person. Boyfriend dicks have a measurable component, of course, but not a consistent one.

I figure, at best, he's nine inches and just exaggerating. Male ego and all that. So I invite him over.

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You good? Something like that. He very clearly asked me if I could really take it. I confidently invited him over.

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I got really high, and I was half expecting him not to show up based upon the fact that he was advertising something so ridiculously over-the-top. He did, in fact, show up. He's scrawny, like 5'9", maybe pounds soaking wet.

I'm like, Well, the proportion would make an average dick look huge anyway, so that probably helps him too.

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He tells me to start sucking his dick. It flops out.

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It's incredibly large flaccid - like nearly actual inches. I'm ecstatic. It's clear that he's hung. So, I'm working on this thing and it just gets bigger. And bigger. Finally, he's like, "Lemme get dat ass.

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He wasn't exaggerating. The thing was a solid foot long, like as long as my ulna.

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Its thickness was proportionate too, meaning it was like a goddamned soda can almost, but not quite. I tell him I need to ride it to get used to it; he agrees.

So, there I am, straddling this scrawny guy with this humungous penis. I couldn't even get the head in. Bear in mind that I'm high as balls on meth again, I'm in recovery.

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We tried for about 10 minutes. He started getting soft.

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I felt incredibly demoralized. He gets ready to go, grumbling really nastily the entire time, calling me a punk, a bitch, etc.

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It's clear that he was very frustrated and this was a common occurrence. I was sort of scared - not that he'd rape me or anything, but that he'd beat me up. He left. I felt incredibly demoralized, like I failed at my one primary objective. I never heard from him again.

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