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Sturgis Motorcycle Rally 2015

A quick note: I usually try to keep RideApart relatively PG, but as my departed grandfather - a sports reporter in his day - once said about foul language: "Sometimes it just fits. That, over there: a Harley. That's a motorcycle. Them Ducatis are just crotch rockets! I suspect he'd been enjoying some kind of substance beforehand - illegal or otherwise.

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That, over there: a Harley. That's a motorcycle. Them Ducatis are just crotch rockets! I suspect he'd been enjoying some kind of substance beforehand - illegal or otherwise.

This guy was stoked, and spent our entire ride from Rapid City to Sturgis chain smoking Camels, fielding phone calls, and sorting through his extensive collection of heavy metal music.

pity, that

His wife, a very well-fed individual, said one thing the entire time. When her husband questioned her choice to exit the highway early and head into town, she said: "You was just a drip in your daddy's drawers the first time I came to Sturgis.

for that interfere

If first impressions are a thing, then this was an amazing one to leave on someone who'd never been to Sturgis. I told people about my taxi ride all weekend. So, to be fair, it was the perfect impression: the kind of experience that sets the tone for the next few days, which, as you'll read, were amazing.

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Sturgis had been a place I'd avoided ever since motorcycles came into my life. It was for fat, old, dentists and their equally obese wives, who turn Wild Hog on the weekends then make their annual pilgrimage from the middle of some fly-over state to this small town in South Dakota.

It was for Chopper Bros and their beards.

have faced it

For the Hells Angels and the Banditos, or the fella from Florida who rides his motorcycle just once a year, in shorts and sandals. I could smell the cigarette smoke and stale beer all the way from my tranquil home in the Pacific Northwest.

I had an opinion, and like so many people, it was based off what I'd heard, not what I knew.

turns out?

Or for that matter, what I had experienced myself. But that was about to change.

me!

I talked Indian Motorcycle into loaning me a big silver sled for a few days, and planned to spend all of my time off the bike with a Coors Light in one hand and a camera in the other. I wanted to see this stuff - the bikers and the beards and the old boobs, all of it - and I wanted to take plenty of pictures because I presumed this would be the only time I'd ever come to Sturgis.

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Another guy, with an equally impressive shirt, dragged his wife and friends over to have their photo taken. His wife told me they'd met at Sturgis five years ago, and got married that same weekend. She then leaned over the rail of the second-story balcony at the Iron Horse Saloon and proceeded to scream: "Penises, show me your goddamn penis!

Boobs of sturgis

Later that night I stumbled upon a group of maybe 10 guys, Boomers at the back end of their retirement, seated on the stairs outside of a barber shop. They were grey haired and handsome, enjoying cold beverages and just watching the parade pass by: A man with a weird, horn-clad headdress.

A woman with some kind of animal tail attached to her backside. An older gentleman sitting between bikes on Main Street, enjoying an ice cream. Later, I wandered into some "famous" watering hole and watched a woman with massive fake boobs and light-up nipple tassels have her photo taken with just about anyone within reach.

I opted out The road to hell is paved with missed be-tassled woman photo opportunities - CC. Instead, I climbed to the second story and watched the tomfoolery from 20 feet up.

A young lady in a crop top approached with a tray of cigars strung around her neck and suggested I might want the vanilla flavor.

Below, an intoxicated old man was pulled onto the bar by one of the many Go-Go gals, laid flat on his back and his shirt ripped open. Run 21 Naked Girls - pictures. Redwood Run Nudity pictures.

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